'F' is for... Fearless!

Fearless!

According to the Oxford Dictionary the word 'fear' stands for an 'unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm'. Moreover, the word 'fear' comes from the Old English  fǣr, which means 'calamity, danger';  fǣran 'frighten', also 'revere', of Germanic origin; related to Dutch gevaar and German  Gefahr 'danger'.

This is to say that when we feel scared, it is because we are frightened by a possible situation of danger. Mostly, it is because we think that a possible danger, or a negative consequence might occur from that. Therefore, we lose ourselves in hamletic doubts regarding possible actions.
"Should I do that?Maybe not...", or as The Clash were singing, "Should I stay or should I go now?".

Everyone, at least once in a lifetime, has found himself in a situation as such. However, despite of doubts, fear, and uncontrolled flow of emotions, fear is not always negative, au contraire, it can be useful in plenty of situations. 

1. Best security system ever.
hands sweating, legs trembling, heart shaking - sometimes you have to be thankful to this little mix, maybe it is your inner part or your intuition who is talking to you, trying to advise you that what you are doing is not the right thing to do.

2. Best motivational tool.
Public speaking? Who has ever been scared of public speaking? Yeah, I know you know what I mean. When your heart starts racing, and you start gasping. No worries. The only solution, you know, it is overcome your fear. Then, you will feel super-excited. Next time you'll feel that way again, you would definately be stronger.

3. Think out of the box.

Exactly, as stated before, it can help to improve your skills, in order to be stronger.

You are scared when you are doing something you've never done before, something in which, maybe, you think you are most likely to fail. So, fear, is not always negative. Actually, when you feel that way, you should rather think "Uhm, fantastic, I am gaining experience".

4. You are Human.

Last, but not least, it means that you are human. You should be happy about that!

There is no person, in the whole world, who might feel completely fearless, Rather, he/she can pretend to be. But, as far as I am concerned, last time I check, feelings belongs to humans, and no human being is born with a full range of knowledge. Therefore, fear of a new begin, it's absolutely normal and shared by all human beings.

I've asked to many of my friends if there was a situation in which they felt they were scared and despite of that, if they pretended to be fearless. Here are the answers:

"Once I had to meet some friends in London. I took my flight from Poland, but what happened was that actually, it could not land in London, therefore we landed in Nottingham. It was my very first time in England, and I was scared. I felt lost. However, I took all my courage and faced that misadventure with an optimistic approach. I reached london on my own, alone. And I'm proud of that." Then, I asked her if she could go back in time, if she rather preferred not to live that situation, and this is what she firmly replied: " Oh no, I would want to do the same. To live the same experience. These are the kind of experiences which can help you to grow up. Yes, you feel scared, but once you move forward, and think about the past you feel stronger". 

Another friend of mine had, instead, to deal with public speaking. "I had to speak to my community about common problems which needed to be solved. I have tried to prepare a proper speech, I read it many times, and even more. I honestly felt like they would not follow me, and maybe would have been against me, against what I had to say. When I reached the venue, I felt like I could have died, as my heart was absolutely rushing. The speaker made my name, and I felt like I couldn't move my legs. However, I took a deep breath, and I forced myself to stand up and go there, not caring about what other people might have said or done. You know what? It was great. My voice was weak, and I could barely follow myself. But after few seconds, I became conscious of what I was talking about. I knew I cared about all of those problems, I knew I've always cared about the community, therefore everything became a lot easier. Afterwards, I felt powerful, happy and fearless".

Personally, I really love these two experiences, not just because they belong to my friends, but because they are real.
These are situations in which you can find yourself in and you don't need to be any sort of hero to take controll of what it is going on.
I've tried to google something about ways to overcome fear and I read a lot of articles, undoubtedly interesting and full of amazing advice.
But, I genuinely think that the best way to feel fearless, it's being fearful.
Because it is when you are fearful, that you can choose to be fearless.

With all my love,

-C.L